It’s About Time…Literally!

I know tomorrow isn’t promised yet I still fall into the “I will get to it tomorrow” syndrome. Time is a precious commodity that I seem to take for granted all too often.

There is one area that I cannot put off until tomorrow. I face this area on a daily basis and it has a huge impact on my life. Left unchecked, my joy nearly disappears and my home lacks much needed peace.

That area is… What comforts me emotionally?

We all have emotional comforts. They can vary from person to person but the question is the same…

What or Who do we run to when we feel emotional or stressed out?

Do we run to God or something unhealthy? I seem to fall into the latter. I battle allowing God to be my comfort. I usually try to find false comforts in other things outside of Him. Oh, how I try to avoid this question. I even try to make excuses for why I don’t always choose God. I blame it on past hurts or even other people. I say, “If they didn’t do this to me I wouldn’t need to be comforted. It’s their fault!”

Truly, this is a very important question for me to answer. To have a life full of God’s joy and peace I must face the truth.

The First Step:

Identification.

I need to know what I am drawn to in times of crisis.

Honestly, I have ran to several different things over the years for comfort YET I have certain things I run to consistently. For example, my main comfort is food. Food just makes me feel at ease. It is something I can control when my life is out of control. I think a few cookies or some fried chicken can take away pain that is too deep to express. I lie to myself every time!

Other emotional comforts I may run to is: relationships, sex, exercise, and my kids… just to name a few. All of these things I think will bring me peace and for a moment they do; but it is only temporary!

Now, please don’t misunderstand me. I am not saying that I can’t have things in my life that bring a sense of calm or retreat. Something like exercise may be a beautiful oasis on a stressful day for me. God may even lead me to things that bring me solace. What I am saying is that these things should never take God’s place. He should be the first place I go to receive comfort in turbulent times.

In times when I am unsure of what my personal “go to” is, I pray about it. I ask God to reveal it to me. He is faithful and desires that I be set free. He has revealed many things to me during my prayer times.

The Next Step:

If I find that I have any unhealthy emotional comforts, I have to stop telling myself that I will start dealing with them tomorrow!

I won’t.

You won’t.

Tomorrow will just generate a new excuse.

Today is the day.

Today.

“Never put off for tomorrow, what you can do today.” 
― Thomas Jefferson

It is about time…literally. Time.  Time is not promised to me and each day that I let unhealthy habits linger I lose a level of freedom that I was born to have. My destiny is waiting for me to decide.

The Final Step:

I have to be honest with God and myself. I have to STOP HIDING!

What provides me with emotional comfort?

Is it food, an addiction, busyness, relationships, money?

Is it something other than God? If so, I must admit it! I can’t deny it any longer.

Truth is healing. Truth is the only way I can finally be set free to form new and healthy habits. Denial kills!

The Bible says,

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” 

Ecclesiastes 3:1

 

There is a time for everything…even healing. It is time to walk in the healing that God desires for me to have.

I discovered an old but beautiful truth recently. In my desire to go to God first for comfort, I don’t have to go very far. You see, I am a believer. I am redeemed by God’s blood. I gave my life to Christ and that means I am sealed with the promise of the Holy Spirit.

 

“And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever”  John 14:16 KJV

 

He lives in me and He is my Comforter. I just have to believe it and receive it. What a great thing to discover. I don’t have to run to anything or anyone else. My Comforter will give me all the emotional comfort I need. He can make a stressful day into a blessing!

Make the choice with me TODAY! Let’s make God our first comfort and say goodbye to anything unhealthy.

It is about time, isn’t it? YES it is!

I leave you with a quote from Michael Landon, Jr. This quote really speaks to me.

“Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows.” 
― Michael Landon Jr.

 

God bless you and if you need prayer hit this tab. You are not alone!

 

Your Sister in Christ,

Tinika Nicole James

 

 

A Spiritual Tornado

A spiritual tornado is when the “rainbow” of God’s promises collide with the “tornado” issues of everyday life.

Have you ever been in a season that is full of blessings and struggles all at the same time? A time when you are so thankful and sorrowful? A time when you are on top of the world and the next tears are flowing? I call this being in a spiritual tornado.

During these times we are confused and conflicted. We may have some guilt because we feel that we aren’t being grateful for the blessings when we are experiencing a sad moment.

I have been in a spiritual tornado for a few months now. It has really been taking a toll on me. I have too many blessings to count. This has been a season of spiritual renewal. I lost a lot in my past and God has restored back to me many things this past year.

You would think I would be singing from the mountain tops and in a worshipful mode every day. I do have those moments. I love to worship yet I am distracted frequently by the strong winds of opposition. During this season I have walked through struggles with my mind and emotions along with many other things including a death.

Let me clarify…this is NOT a venting session. I know that others are going through things I can’t even fathom having to go through. My goal is to share my struggle. I am not focusing too much on “what” I am experiencing. I am expressing the “amount” and extremes that have weighed me down recently.

The Starlit Life is a place where I desire to be transparent and show that we all go through times of darkness but we can find the light in the midst of it. We can be a light in darkness and that has been my journey.

I have been trying to find out how to remain in the Light; be a light. It is not an easy task. Not at all! I have had many days I wanted to give up but something in me just keeps me going. The person of the Holy Spirit is real and active. It is He who keeps encouraging my spirit to press on despite what my flesh may want to do.

I am still spinning in this tornado. It is dark at times. It is light at times. I want to smile and explode with gratefulness one minute and the next I am crying over a beyond stressful day.

My foundation and my anchor is Jesus. He never changes even when I am caught in the spiritual tornado. When the wind blows I can be still and know that He is God. (Ps 46:10) I can praise God in the good and in the bad knowing that it all will work out for my good. (Romans 8:28)

We can all live The Starlit Life when we surrender daily to God and leave every care and worry in His hands. He loves us and gives us strength when we are weak. We can be the light in darkness. Just trust and believe!

Here is a song to encourage you!

Let’s Pray…

Lord, we know that You are with us even when we are tossed around by the winds that come against us. You still bless us in the midst and we are so thankful! What would we do without Your love, grace, mercy and strength? We surrender to You. Your will be done in our lives. We want You to get all the glory in our story.

In Jesus’ name,

AMEN.

Peace: Delighting in Obedience

“The body God has given me is good. It’s not perfect nor will it ever be. But it is a gift for which I am thankful.” Lysa Terkeurst, Made to Crave

I have struggled with my body image for most of my life. I have always felt that the struggle was so deep that even God couldn’t heal me. Past relationships led me to believe I didn’t or couldn’t measure up to other women. Certain things about myself I have actually despised. When I would see other women on TV, in the grocery store or on magazine covers it made my disgust for myself even deeper. Until now…

A few weeks ago I decided to join an online Bible study that is going through the book, “Made to Crave” by Lysa Terkeurst. I must say that things in my life are drastically changing. I am beginning to see a difference in my thinking and in my eating habits. This is nothing short of a miracle. But first, let me back up. I will share how my struggle began.

I was born a fun and active little girl without much fear. I was bubbly and laughed all the time. I didn’t even think about my body or what I liked or didn’t like about it. When I was 7 years old things changed for me. A young female family member would always put me down in various ways. I began to believe that I wasn’t beautiful and that something was wrong with me.

When I became a teenager my insecurities grew even deeper. I was liked by some boys in High School but there always seemed to be a prettier girl. There was always someone that took away the attention I desired. I was cheated on by my boyfriend and this just fed my personal doubts about myself.

As an adult my insecurities grew to be crippling and addictive. I was a slave to my doubts and personal disgust. No one could tell me I was OK on the outside. I would always believe I just couldn’t measure up. Even if someone did think I was attractive, that would only last until another woman walked by or came into the picture. After that I was sure that I would be thrown away. I truly believed I wasn’t worth staying for.

This led to me not taking care of my body. Well, “Why should I?” I would tell myself. “It won’t make a difference; I won’t ever look like “that!” Why should I spend time and energy to be healthy and/or lose weight if it won’t make me look any better? I was all messed up. My thinking was just as unhealthy as my body was.

I would go to the doctor and she would tell me my blood pressure and cholesterol was too high yet still I resisted change. I knew I should be healthy but I didn’t know where or how to start. Honestly, it was more about my lack of motivation.

I am not done with this book or bible study yet but from what I have learned so far I have been amazingly blessed. Two particular areas are really making an internal impact on me too large for words. God is revealing to me that before I can change my outer man I have to change the inner man. I have to change the way I think about my health and food before I can even think about changing any of my behavior.

The first area that impacted me was learning that “I can” have peace with my body. I can begin to love the body that God blessed me with. God created me. He didn’t make a mistake. I was fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14) When I carry self-loathing around I am actually saying what God made wasn’t good. I have to embrace who I am on the inside and on the outside.

To see how bad my thinking was I decided to write out everything I didn’t like about my body and why. Most of the things I didn’t like traced back to either something someone said or my comparison with someone else. I had to lay these things before God and tell Him thank you for making me. I thanked Him for the body I was given and committed to being a better steward of it.

Secondly, I learned that “we need to define ourselves by our obedience, not a number on a scale.” (Lysa Terkeurst) THIS WAS HUGE for me! The times I did attempt to lose weight in the past I always got discouraged on the weeks I didn’t see the numbers fall. I based my value on what weight I did or didn’t lose. I had it all wrong. The truth is liberating!

I can now be obedient to God in taking care of my body (Romans 12:1) without any added pressure. If I step on the scale and the weight hasn’t changed I can be OK with that. I just ask myself how I did that week. Did I do the best I could to honor God with my body? Did I stick to my plans? If I answer YES, then I can be at peace with the fact that I am still OK. I did my part and that is all that matters; I took care of my body and made healthy choices. Yet, even if I had a bad week and blew it in the area of self control; I can still have peace because I can recognize where I fell and begin again. NO CONDEMNATION! (Romans 8:1)

I notice that in this past week I am making changes I never thought I could. For example, I went grocery shopping and bought healthier items. I even passed up the candy bars sitting right in my face at the checkout line.

WHAT?!

I couldn’t even believe it myself. I think I am able to make healthier choices now because I am no longer under pressure to look as good as a super model. I am no longer defined by the number on the scale. I just need to be the best ME I can be and that is all.

With this new mindset I can now begin to look at other women without having an insecurity attack or a jealous seizure. 🙂

Now, please don’t misunderstand me. I have definitely been enlightened but this is all new to me. I am forming new habits from this new way of thinking and this will all take time. I am sure I will struggle some days but I now have hope. I can change. I am changing. I have peace with my body now and I am delighting in being obedient to God with my choices.

I will have a lot more to share in the weeks to follow about what God is sharing with me through this book. I hope you come along for the ride.

I will leave with this…

Be the best YOU that YOU can be. Be thankful for the body you were given. Appreciate others for the way God made them. Leave the rest to God!

As always, SHINE your light. Be StarLit like the sky. The stars shine the brightest when it is the darkest.